May 22 / Berlin She said, What are you doing I said, I am in the apartment eating carrots because thatʼs all I have so far Although probably I will rectify that soon I am going to put something familiar and safe on my computer and try to, I donʼt know what, make things happen for myself She said, What are you wanting to happen? I said, Iʼd like to start cementing plans for what will be after Berlin And I want to not feel afraid all the time but that seems like something I need to go inside for, not outside She said, What are you most afraid of? I said, Of everything in the whole world? Prolapse. She said, Of your current endeavor I said, That I will have to go back to New York and just pick up where I left off That this wonʼt take me somewhere She said, Well it will definitely take you somewhere it just might not be where you thought I said, Also Iʼm afraid of getting fat She said, Impossible to get fat on carrots. this episode was written... into a text with Jean from Germany on body + fear + food + listening + planning + vagina