I caught a ride to Cologne and indeed am not going back to Berlin tonight.
It just was starting to feel bad to me to be there — stagnant, a little depressive — which I didnʼt totally realize until I felt almost euphoric walking through a dark forest in the rain on Friday night, trying to find Cedar’s hotel by foot because I didnʼt want to wait for the bus or pay for a taxi.
I still donʼt know what Iʼm doing here, but I do know that I was kind of at a standstill there — not writing, not learning — and that to go backward would be the wrong thing for the momentum Iʼm trying to build.
If you still feel like sex clubbing without me, Kit Kat Club is open tonight and tomorrow.
But I don’t think theyʼll let you in with your flip flops.