On the business of monogamy, et cetera, I am out in the world and see the way—in country after country—national divides be damned—men look at me in spite of being manifestly, obviously with another woman in that moment, and I see the women pretending not to notice…or actually not noticing…or noticing and being mad, or hurt…or noticing and being too tired to care…and I don’t like any of those options. 

I want to only be in things that are sparkling and new and all-consuming.

Unreasonable, I guess. 

Or is it? 

Maybe only if I want to build something over decades instead of just inhabiting a string of moments.