apartment

Friends with Danish subtitles

The apartment where I will be cat-sitting for the next few days is fabulous, too fabulous, such that now that the owner has left me and it for Paris, instead of exiting into greater Denmark I am hanging out, eating whatever meal-like arrangements I can make from the contents of her larder and being soothed by the Scandinavian design and unimpeachable blondness in every one of the portraits and watching “Friends” with Danish subtitles, trying to pick up a pronoun or two.

what treachery is that

I texted Mary and said,

I am at the moment having some trouble getting out of Ingaʼs apartment

She said,

As in you are locked in?

I said,

As in it’s a little too beautiful out

There are a few too many possibilities

I’ve been hungry for two days, and there is so much food here, and she told me to eat everything

And now I am full but I’m afraid to leave the food

She said,

Do the thing you are most afraid of right?

Especially if what it is is leaving the house

I said,

Maybe it’s that there are barriers

Like changing my clothes

I keep dozing off because what bodily time is it?

Also now I am reminded of what treachery weʼre dealing with here.

You try out writing in the second person

Back at the Ved Amagerport apartment, I make myself a bedtime shandy of Ribena and Carlsberg cut with a lot of tap water.
Is now the part when I try out writing in the second person? Ahem:
Back at the Ved Amagerport apartment, you make yourself a bedtime shandy of Ribena and Carlsberg cut with plenty of Copenhagen tap water. During the kitchen portion of the apartment tour, Inga told you the tapwater here is excellent, which is good to hear because you’ve been drinking it for two days yet. You think it tastes funny nationwide so far but are so very spoiled by New York City. Later, during the bathroom portion, Inga told you the water is also very hard — a lot of Danish calcium — so the temperature knob of the shower faucet doesn’t move as easily as a user might like. Later still, you try writing in the second person and find it horribly, prohibitively audience-conscious.

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