North Carolina

some nights in a yurt

In the garden yesterday I said to Elsa, Maybe you should go away, too. Spend some nights in a yurt. Think about what really matters.

Elsa said, I hate yurts. What about all your square furniture? It’s completely impractical, and we went back to tenting the strawberries in silence.

what if we could subvert the framework

I said,

What if we could subvert the framework?

Like what if the starting place is nothing

And everything you do that is not nothing is grounds for celebration?

I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s not the correct thing to *start* from the top of what’s possible and conceive of ourselves in terms of every way we’ve fallen short of that synthetic mark

I mean you’re not really anything other than a bunch of carbon in different configurations

“WOW DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT CARBON JUST DID”

Et cetera

Even the missteps are an accomplishment of sorts

“Man that carbon has so much AGENCY”

She said,

I just had to put my head inside of my sweater

I said,

That’s fine

Stay there as long as you feel like

“I went to grad school with some carbon that — get this — picks out its own sweaters”

north carolina

What felt saddest when I left home today was saying goodbye to the dogs.

I guess because they each might die before we’re together again.

But to them, every moment is the same as the one before or after so what is the passage of time? To say nothing of one’s own mortality.

They don’t even know.

Talia let herself be petted a little and told she’s done a good dog job, all things considered, before slinking away.

Gracie came when I called, happy and surprised, and I cried against her muzzle and told her to stay black.

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